Study Duty
by MsLanna
Summary: Another of those diary thingies. Kanshi is a youngling in the Jedi Temple and he gets into trouble with his friend Yani. Study Duty is meant to help him reconsider his actions. But, does that work?
1. Chapter 1

One 

Eh, Master Taren gave me study duty. This is so boring. He said younglings are not supposed to be in the Jedi council. And it wasn't even my fault.

It is all Yani's fault. It always is. He is no good company. That means he is fun, but grown-ups seem to mix that up easily.

Yani said to go exploring the higher levels. He's around the palace all the time. He is not always in the classes. So we went up. It's so exciting up there, you can see all of Coruscant, Real! So there is this indoor garden and we play hide and seek. But Yani is gone, sometimes he doesn't think. Often he doesn't remember. He is not good at paying attention.

One day, Master Yoda almost whacked Yani with his stick. No joke! Yani was staring into the air above Master Yoda's head. Yani often stares. But maybe Yoda thinks Yani is looking for a taller teacher. And Yani doesn't react at all when Master Yoda calls. We giggle. Yoda is not happy and he is about to smack Yani. Swear!

Anyway, Yani is gone and I look for my way back. This temple is huge. Real! So I don't find my way. Not fast and there are many Jedi around suddenly. One's on a hoverchair. That's funny, but he's got no legs. Swear! And he's almost at my height so I ask him for the way back. He laughs and I like him.

I run off, he gives good directions, I find my way easy. I am good at finding my way, one day I will be a Jedi-Tracker. Yani laughs and says there's no such thing. I will make it then. Like a bounty hunter just as Jedi. Doing it for good. So I run into the turbolift because I am late for dinner. There's bronto-bird for dinner. I like bronto-bird and I don't want to be late.

But instead of the youngling's place, I am suddenly in a huge room with windows everywhere. The light is pretty through the windows. There are chairs in a circle, but nobody is there. Then somebody is there and he is angry. Jedi are not supposed to be angry, but he was. Swear! He's all dark and glowers and then he takes my arm and drags me back. He delivers me to Master Taren. Master Taren was the first Jedi we meet in the youngling's wing. He doesn't train younglings. I think he looked for a padawan.

So Taren thinks it is all my fault and I get study duty. I don't want to study. I want dinner and I want to shout at Yani. And that Jedi in the hoverchair. This is so unfair.


	2. Chapter 2

Two

This is really unfair. They grounded me again while Yani is still out there somewhere. Laughing I bet. And it was his idea. Swear!

So last time I got study duty, it was because of that Jedi. The one in the hoverchair. Of course, nobody ever listens, but it's true. Anyway, Yani, he believes me. He thinks it's stupid to sit in a hoverchair, though. You can get new legs no problem as Jedi. Best bionics ever. Better than the originals, even. So sitting is stupid.

Yani says with legs like that you can do anything. Normal people can be almost as good a Jedi. Only almost of course. You can't be as good as a Jedi without the Force, that's a stupid idea. I wonder if people cut off limbs to replace them with better bionics. I mean, I can jump real high. One storey up when I concentrate. So how can people live and not be that good? Don't they miss it? Or are they all just like stupid? If I couldn't use the Force I would feel like an idiot.

So Yani says there cannot be many Jedi in hoverchairs around. Because you get new limbs when you need them. That makes sense. We don't own much, but we always get what we need. It's okay, though I would really like to have one of those new interactive holo-stations. Anyway, of all Jedi only Master Yoda owns a speeder. Only he's bad at tuning it up, so it only ever goes walking pace.

Yani laughed when he said that, but I don't get it. Master Yoda only has this hover-thingy. I wonder if he can drive a normal speeder. How can he get to the pedals with his feet and still look over the wheel? Yani says it's a joke of the older kids. They have stupid jokes. Not funny.

So Yani says to look into the archives, see if we can find that Jedi and play a prank on him or something. I like the idea. I missed dinner and we don't get bronto bird every week. I wish we did. How do you change the menu in the temple? I wonder if Master Yoda gets bronto bird whenever he wants. It would be good to be Jedi Master, if you can chose your food then.

We don't sneak into the archives, because we can go there on regular learning business. Yani is good at looking official. He greets Master Nu and she lets us in. We use a place in the middle. Yani says the back is suspicious. I don't want Master Nu suspicious. She can be creepy. Real!

The files are difficult. They make no sense and you cannot look for Jedi with hoverchairs. Yani looks and I try to look like I understand what he does. I don't. There are so many tables and charts. I get bored. I wander off because Yani doesn't need me. He is all in the charts.

Then an alarm goes off. I run to Yani but he is gone. The monitor is still on. I want to have a look. Maybe Yani found that Jedi. But I see nothing. Suddenly Master Nu grabs my ear from behind. Her fingers are all cold. She drags me away and shows me to a Jedi I have never seen before. He looks unhappy.

He says, I have triggered an alarm. I should not try to break into files. I will have to tell him what I wanted there. I have no idea what he talks about. I am okay with computers, but I like fighting better. So I say I have no clue what he wants. It was probably Yani who did it, but I would never peach on a friend. Swear! Jedi don't do that. No way.

That Jedi, he looks at me and I know he's using the Force. That's so unfair, but one day, I can block them all. I bet nobody reads Master Yoda's thoughts. But I'm just a youngling, no right or what? He shakes his head and off I go to study duty, considering what I did.

So I did consider, but it didn't take long. Exploring the archives is boring. Total! I can promise I never do that again. Maybe that will be enough to get me out here.


	3. Chapter 3

Three

This time I don't even know why I am here. Swear! I didn't do nothing, and Yani was not even around. I think. There was too much smoke to see much.

His name is Sian Ny. Yani found that out before he ran and I got caught by Master Nu. Nu, Ny; I wonder if they are related. I should have asked him. Sian, I mean. After Yani found out his name, he was easy to find. The first idea was to make him trip somehow and he'd fall on his face in front of all his colleagues. That one works every time. But Sian is in a hoverchair. Toppling that did not seem like a good idea. I mean, he could get hurt.

Yani said that would be discriminalisation or something. I think it means on the border of being real crime. Yani and his long words. One day, I'll take one and choke him with it. Swear! So no tripping. Yani said he'd think of something, he always does. I think life would not be much fun without him here. Old Jedi seem all so serious.

So we went up to Sian's room. Yani said to lure him away, Sian that is, so he can get into the room. He has some trick planned, but he doesn't tell me what. "He can read minds, stupid," Yani says. "If you know what will happen, he will too and it won't work."

Yani is clever. He thinks of everything. If he doesn't freeze, it's uncanny. Total! Yani just stops. Everything and then he stands, or sits or whatever and just stares and his mouth is open a bit. If it takes too long, he drools. When he comes back, he says he cannot remember what happened. I think Yoda talked to him. Maybe he should talk some more?

Yoda speaks funny. We like to use Yoda-speak, but only if he doesn't hear us. Funny, it is. Real! Yani speaks it real good. I think because Yoda talks to him sometimes. Anyway, I went to see Sian. He looked all surprised to see me and I did not know what to do. Yani had said to lure him away, but I didn't know how, or where. So I stood in the door and looked stupid.

"Hello," says Sian. "You're the boy from the corridor."

I nod. "You made me miss dinner - and I got study duty, too." I pout not sure what to do.

"Sorry, to hear that," he says, "what if I get you something to eat now?"

That's cool. You don't get much to eat outside of mealtimes. Grown-ups just don't know we need to eat more. Swear! But Sian seems nice. He did so last time. I don't know what to do next.

"No worries," he grins, and he has a huge grin. Like splitting his face in half. Swear! "I'll be right there with you, and no going into the Council Chamber this time. I promise."

Well, he can't do much when he's there, right? Maybe he does? Jedi Masters are stompin good with the Force. They can do everything. Can't wait to be one! "What food?" I want to know.

"What did you miss?"

"Bronto bird." That was so sad. "With frooja sauce and all."

"Impossible!" he shouted and looked shocked. "That can almost not be made up. But I have an idea. What about a bronto burger? I am sure I can get you one."

I nod. Bronto burgers are even more rare than bronto bird. There's everything on them, and the sauce squishes through your fingers when you eat them. I like that we can eat with our fingers it's much more fun that using the fork.

Sian drives out of his room and I walk beside him. He says there is a kitchen close by. We talk, I tell him my name and about study duty, but he doesn't seem sorry about that. He is nice, I think, not like other gown-ups. He cares about food. And he smiles a lot and has a loud voice. He talks a lot and he's funny.

The burger is good, but Sian is telling jokes and I spit bits of it all over the table. That makes Sian laugh. My fingers are full of sauce. I flip a drop at him, but catches it with the Force. Masters can do that. Sian is a Master. I wonder if he has a padawan. Can he? He's in a hoverchair. I try to think about it, but he is making the drop wobble in the air all crazy. I must laugh again. This time I swallow first.

I tell the story of Yani and Yoda and then more about Yani. I forgot that he planned something. Swear! So when we get back, there is all this smoke coming out of Sian's room. It's smelly like girls will like a lot and pink too. Then I remember Yani. I run to get the smoke bomb. Yani put it in the fresher, and it floats. The whole room is full of smoke; I see nothing and the thing doesn't flush away.

Then many people are there. None looks happy and they grab me and the smoke bomb and tell me to say what's going on. I won't tell on Yani. Friend's honour. But there is nobody I can blame. In the end they say it was me - again. They are annoyed. Jedi are not angry. Sian looks like he is about to laugh. Then I get marched in here.

It's not fair. There is some pink stuff in my hair still and on my robes. I look like a girl, and I smell like one, too. Stompin mess! I must write why I must not play pranks. I can think of a reason: not to get study duty. I must find more, but this is not easy. I wish I had another burger.


	4. Chapter 4

Four

Okay, this time it is my fault. But not alone. Sian was into it too. Swear!

See, I returned to the crèche and showered. All that pink stuff, ew! Yani was not there. The others did not see him, too. I am worried, a bit. Sometimes he freezes and then he just stands for hours. I hope it has not happened and that he is not lost somewhere. Once, he stood in the garden of fountains half a day. Nobody saw him because he was in the bushes. A gardener found him, drooling all over his robes and he didn't react. The gardener got healers and Yani ended up in the healer's ward for three days.

Anyway, I go and look for him in all our places. Maybe he waits there for me. But he's not there. So I look like random. You can find people with the Force if you are good at it, and I want to be a Jedi Hunter one day, let Yani laugh. I will show him. Swear! So I let the Force walk me around, not easy, you have to stop thinking, but not walk into a wall. I end up funny places when I do this. But Yani is nowhere. I get really worried.

He is not at the lessons. The teachers do not know where he is, too. I skip the last lesson and go look for him again. He must be somewhere. I think, maybe he is hiding. Nobody will ever find him then, and he must die of hunger and thirst. Stompin mess! But I must find him. I miss dinner, but it was only rica stew anyway.

It gets dark and he is still not there. I look in the dorm, but his bed is empty. I sneak out again. What if he is outside and freezes to death? I run through the temple and the gardens but I cannot find him. I sit down to catch my breath. Then Sian finds me. He gives me a hanky. That is because I am sweaty from running not because I was crying. I never cry. Swear!

So asks Sian, "what is it?" and I tell him about Yani and how he is missing and what he could die off and all. He says he'll help me look and tells me to keep the hanky, so I stuff it into a pocket. We set off and I hope he's good finding people with the Force.

He says he's a good hunter, because he's such a fast runner. But he doesn't run. It makes no sense. Maybe that was before that thing happened to his legs. We go back inside and I follow him for a while. I don't know how he wants to find Yani, he doesn't even know him. I still worry, but when there's an adult around you mustn't show that. They don't like when you think they don't know what they do.

Sian asks me where to turn sometimes. I don't really know, but I answer anyway. Yani is my best friend, I _must_ find him. Then we are back at Sian's rooms.

"We know he was here. Maybe it will be easier to follow his steps from here," Sian says. The idea is good. I must remember that for later. I close my eyes and look for Yani. He is almost there. I can feel him, and he is close. I open my eyes and Sian. He looks past me and I turn around. There is a small locker in the wall. Those are everywhere. It's no fun to play hide and seek inside, because there's million of them. Swear! You never find anybody.

We go to the small door and Sian opens it with the Force. One day I can do that. I'll be a great Jedi Master. Total! Behind the door is a small space, there is stuff to clean and such in this one. And Yani. His eyes are wide open and he drools. He olds on to a broomstick and his hands are all white. He doesn't see us.

I look at Sian. "He is like that sometimes. He needs a healer."

Sian closes his eyes shortly, then nods. "A healer is on his way." I try to get Yani out of the closet, putting away bottles and rags, but not the broom. Yani doesn't let go off the broom. It loos like he tries to hide behind it, but it is much to small.

Finally, Sian just takes him, broom and all, and lifted him out of the locker. Yani twitches, but that is it. He still looks past us, as if there was a krayt dragon down the hall. But a broom is no good against that. Sian puts a hand on Yani's head but nothing happens.

"You could use him as a crowbar," he says. "Are you sure Yani is not a misspelling of Jemmy?"

I shake my head. Yani is Yani, Sian is strange. And I am worried.

Then the healer comes. He is not worried and he has a stretcher. She puts Yani on it and he still holds the broomstick. Uncanny. Like he's really frozen. He scares me when he's like this. I snuffle, but the hanky is dried and sticks to my pocket. I snuffle again.

Sian puts a hand on my shoulder. "He will be fine."

It's a good lie. Adults do that. They lie to you because they think it makes you feel better. Sometimes it works. Not now. Yani does this a lot lately. I don't think he'll be fine. It will happen to him again and he won't be fine. But it helps a bit, when Sian says it. Like he means it. It's a good lie.

I follow the healer, and Sian follows me. We are not allowed into the ward, Yani needs rest they say. I pace before the doors. Sian wants to get me to the dorm, but I need to know about Yani. I never saw him that bad. I tell Sian to leave, I need to find a way in. What if Yani needs me?

"I have an idea," says Sian. "Follow me."

He does not go to his rooms or the dorm, so I follow. He goes to the kitchen.

"I don't want food," I say. He shakes his head and grins. He looks very young when he grins. He gets some red sauce, like you get on the burgers. He holds the bottle up and squeezes the stuff over my forehead. I try to wipe it off, but he shakes his head.

"You are severely wounded," he says. "You must go to the healers ward. This is clever. Just before we reach the ward, he grabs me from behind, throws me over his knees and speeds up. I bet his hoverchair is ages faster than that of Master Yoda. We crash through the doors and into the healers ward. We don't know where Yani is, but I jump off the hoverchair and run down the corridor.

I find his room first try. I am so going to be a Hunter when I grow up. Total! Yani is lying on the bed and he does not hold the broom anymore. His eyes are half open. He looks very small, like he was far away. But he sees me.

"Oy," he says. "What you doing here." His voice is very soft, almost not here.

"Checking on you," I say. Stupid question really, but he looks bad. "They treat you good?"

He nods, and smiles, not much. He is tired. But he is okay. I am not worried anymore. So I turn to go to the dorm, but I don't get far. A healer grabs me and puts me on a table. He pokes at the sauce and does not look happy. Sian is gone. He can outrun them in his chair, I bet. The healer wipes the sauce away and scolds me. That I must not see Yani, that he needs rest and all that. But we're best friend, of course I have to see him. Adults just don't understand.

So they send me to bed and the next morning I they give me study duty right after the lessons. I cannot visit Yani. This is so unfair. I wonder if Sian has study duty too.


	5. Chapter 5

Five

Yani had to stay in the healer's ward for some days. I visited him, and he got better. He looks sad, but he tries not to show.

We visited Sian. Yani said thanks and Sian gave us cookies. He wanted to know if Yani remembers anything, but he shakes his head. I think he lies, and I think, Sian thinks he lies, too, but he doesn't say anything. That is not normal. Adults always want to know, especially when they think you lie.

We take more cookies and then we go to our fortress in the gardens. It is our secret place. You cannot see it from outside, nobody ever finds us there. We took a bottle of lemonade on our way and then we sit down to eat.

"Do you really not remember?" I ask Yani.

He doesn't look at me, He stares at his hands. "I don't want to remember," he says. "I want to forget. I will never forget if we talk about it."

That makes sense. I shut up and eat a cookie.

Then we talk about more important stuff, training and the other younglings, and what lessons he missed in the ward and the pranks, and how Juli again managed to make her training saber turn pink and Yorec still tries to get a Master early and how he makes an idiot out of himself doing that. Total!

Yani did not miss too much. He's so good at everything, it doesn't matter much anyway. He's always showing me to do things even when he was in the ward and I was in class. But now, many lessons just don't happen. Many teachers are in the war. It was not so bad to start and it was fun to have hours off.

Now, we have many hours off, mostly fighting, too. That sucks. I like fighting, and Yani does. But many teachers go to the war and many did not come back. It's time the war ends and they all return. Yani says they won't return anyway, but as long as there's the war, I can make believe they will.

If I tell myself something strong enough, I can make myself believe. Like a mind trick, but on myself. Swear! So I believe they'll be back when the war is over. Anyway, the Republic has a huge army, why don't they fight? The Separatists don't have Jedi, so why should the clones have trouble defeating them without Jedi?

I have seen clones. For a while they were all over the place. They all look the same, even with the helmets down. I got study duty then ,because we sneaked out and talked to some when we should have done meditation exercises. They were nice, and strange and liked candy and showed us the gear. I want gear like that one day. I wonder why they have not shot the Seps out of the galaxy with gear like that.

Yani says there's too many droids fighting for the Seps. Droids are bad fighters, I always win against the remote. Real! And he says the Jedi get such gear too, when they fight. I wish I was all grown up already, then I could get one of those Deeses. And I could wear cool armour, like Kenobi does, Yani showed me pics. Kenobi is stompin cool. I want a Master like him. He still has a padawan, but I will have some years to wait anyway. I hope he'll be there when I have to get a Master. Yani doesn't say who he wants as Master. I think he has a crush on Master Secura maybe.

We had much to talk about and it was dark when we went into the temple again. We had missed dinner, and the cookies were not really good for that. So Yani said to raid the kitchen. I like kitchen raids. Yani never gets caught so when I stay with him, I don't get caught too. There are many small kitchens in the wings and levels of the temple. If we all got food from the central kitchen it'd be cold when we got it.

Yani finds a small kitchen and it's all dark. We make sandwiches by the light of the fridge and I try to show what Sian did with the sauce. I am not good with it, and there's splatters of sauce everywhere. But it's fun. Yani is much better at it. He can move the drops to places and then let them explode. Stompin fun!

We laugh and I cough on bits of sandwich. Then the light goes on and master Tharen is there. He looks down at us, and then we must clean the mess we made. I stuff some last pickles into my mouth because Tharen does not look like he will let us finish eating. He doesn't. We get sent to be and have to report to study duty tomorrow. That is now. But it's okay.

With Yani, even study duty is fun.


	6. Chapter 6

Six

Yani can get into trouble everywhere. Total! Even in the gardens. It is stompin stupid. Anyway, there was this huge plant in the gardens, the Skydome Botanical gardens, not at the temple. It's huge, like a person and fat like many and it never blooms. Or almost never. But now it did and Yani wanted to see that.

I don't know where he got the information from, but he likes computers. He spends a lot of time in the library or other places with terminals. I think sometimes he uses those for adults, too and makes them think he's adult. He always knows everything. Swear! So he tells me about this huge plant and that it blooms once in a hundred years and that it is blooming now. And that he has to see it.

I wonder why? It's only a big flower, I bet there's more than one and they bloom all the time. But Yani wanted to go no matter what. So I went and ask Sian. He said fine, but we had to help him if his hoverchair got stuck in the gravel paths. I think that was a joke. He likes jokes, but I don't think he's very good with them.

Anyway, we can go with Sian. Yani is all happy and bounces. Swear! He talks with Sian a lot about the plant, or he talks and Sian nods and goes uh-huh. That's okay, I do that when Yani has on of those babble attacks. Sometimes he just talks and talks and talks and it's not really interesting. Like plants.

Okay, the plant was huge, and it bloomed huge. The whole garden smelled like it, a bit like the pink stuff Yani used in the stink bomb, just better. We smelled it as soon as we came in. Swear! But first we have to get through half the gardens. Sian is talking and showing plants he has seen on their home plants; he has been everywhere. There is about a million people waiting to see the stompin plant. But they are all very nice and some let us pass. I think it's because we're Jedi and Sian is in a hoverchair.

Then we get there and it really stompin huge; the biggest veggie I ever saw. Total! And so close the smell is choking, I almost cough. Yani is like frozen, only he's grinning like crazy and moving. I don't know what he sees there that I don't.

"You really like plants," Sian says to Yani.

"Because plants are not black," Yani says and stares at the flower.

"But there are black plants, Yani," Sian said. It's true, we went past some on our way in, I saw them.

"No, not black, black, like black in the Force. Plants cannot be black that way." Yani tries to explain. That can be, though I never see colours in the Force. It is glowing and kinda fuzzy, but I don't see colours. But then, it's different for all of us. I wonder if Yani sees everything coloured in Force-colours and what it would be like. Stompin awesome, I bet.

Sian says nothing, he is silent a long time and we walk on. Suddenly Sian acts like he is stuck. It's a silly idea, but he made funny faces and it was stomin funny. We laughed loud. Sian made faces and waved with his arms wildly as if he was going to fall out of his hoverchair. Then we went a pushed, but it didn't move at all. Sian shouted encouragement at us when he managed. He was laughing too.

Then he broke free and Yani and I fell to the ground and I breathed in dirt and coughed and laughed. Sian can be much fun. The people look at us strange but they say nothing. We had a break and ate some sandwiches. Yani had gotten some lemonade, and he even shared with Sian. I think he likes him, too. Maybe because Sian does not keep asking about his freezing. Only that he does, but in a way that Yani doesn't have to answer. It's strange.

Then we go to see the flesh-easting plants. I heard they have some that can eat real people. I want to see that. Maybe they feed on while we're there. that would be stompin cool. But most plants are small, the big ones are not dangerous at all. And Yani doesn't like it here. Don't know why. First he's all plant-happy and then he's not. Sometimes you just can't understand him.

And then he runs off the path. You mustn't because the plant here eat flesh, but they are smaller than us, so I go after him. Sian can't because his hoverchair doesn't fit through the bushes. I hear Yani run and I think he's making small noises. I think he's afraid. I reach him, and he's all frozen. Standing in the veggies and staring, and one is eating his elbow. And he didn't even notice, he didn't move or anything. Swear! So I shout and shout and hope somebody comes, and that plant is slobbering over his elbow and making noises. I try to pull it off, but it is too strong.

I hear Sian's hoverchair and call his name. He calls back and I tug at Yani. Then there is a man from the garden in blue uniform. He is very angry and faster than Sian. Yani suddenly snaps out of it. He stares at me for a moment and then runs off into the plants. Maybe he was not out of it. But he never moved before. I try to run after him, but that plant grabs me.

It hurts. It hurts like stompin hell and I scream. How had Yani not noticed that. The man in the blue uniform sees Sian and then he runs after Yani. Sian sees the plant eating my arm and reaches out, but I just black out. Stompin stupid plant.


	7. Chapter 7

Seven

So this is what happened. We get back to the temple and they put Yani into the healer's ward. Okay, I get to go, too because my arm is all red and thick and there's small white dots all over it. But of course, they don't keep me long. After I was awake again and tell the whole story, I get punishment for trampling all through the garden. Not fair, I was just trying to help Yani, but adults never think.

So I am to help in the gardens. Not in the Skydome, but here in the temple. It's like stompin Agri Corps already. Argi corps is for losers, Yani and me, we're strong, we'll make great Jedi one day, not stompin farmers. But I have to, and I must help a lot, I don't get time to see Yani. That is worst.

Gardener Yantup is okay. He shows me how to use the Force when planting and watering. He was a youngling, too he says, but he's happy. He always liked plants more than people, he says and smiles. He looks a bit sad smiling. Then he shows me how to plant little flowers without messing up. There's a lot you can do wrong, it seems, and then the flower dies. I would just plant a cactus, less work, and those never die.

Ree-flowers do die, a lot. So there is a lot to be careful about: no snapping the roots and not pressing the earth too tight, not too much water, but no to little and they need much light and no panting them on the paths. Yantup shows me how to use the Force when putting a flower into the ground and putting earth around it. It's difficult because you can use the Force only a little.

I am not thinking of the work enough. I have to help in the garden, and Yani is still in the healer's ward. They keep him for days. I went to Yoda, but he said they need to make very difficult tests with Yani and that it takes time and I need to be patient. But how can you be patient when you best friend is sick? And you cannot see him, not even just like _see_ see; through glass or anything.

So I plant little flowers and try to listen to Yantup. He is nice, he never is angry. Often he looks sad, but he always smiles. And he shows me all kinds of plants and tells me about them. He knows all there is to know about them. Swear! I didn't know there were so many gardens in the temple, but Yantup shows me all of them. I like the Yoda garden.

Of course, that's not the real name, it just kinda stuck because everything in there is very small. Trees that go to my knee and that are hundreds of years old, still. No Joking! There are small woods with hundreds of trees and I can jump over it. Or could, if Yantup allowed me. I am good at jumping, I like exercise.

I don't have to do study duty this time. Maybe they think gardening is better. But I don't have any time for anything anyway. When I have some time to myself, I try to see Yani. They don't let me in, but I stand there anyway. Sooner or later they have to let me in. Or I'll, I'll - I'll think of something. Total!

Sian is nice. Sometimes he's there, too, but he tries to get me to go away, too. Not in a bad way, tough. I think he knows what it means to be best friends. He keeps saying they won't hurt him. He doesn't say Yani'll be okay anymore.

I tell him about the tiny trees. I want to get one of those tiny trees Yantup showed me for Yani. It would be like having a forest, but in small. We could make tiny Wookiees and have them live in the tree. I ask Sian if he knows where to get one.

He doesn't but he says to ask Yantup. Stupid of me really. But Yani is the thinker of us. I do stuff. I wait until I have to go for dinner and then there's exercises and recap and I can only think of what they are doing to Yani.

The next day I ask Yantup about the small trees.

"Those trees are hundreds of years old," Yantup says. "They are very expensive and very difficult to keep."

"It's for Yani." He doesn't get it. "For Yani," I repeat. "He likes plants, and tress. He would be happy to have one."

"You will have to get one from the city," Yantup says. "I can give you the addresses of the best shops."

As if. I cannot buy anything, I don't have any money. None of us have, except the old ones when they need to go on missions. I wonder how everybody else gets stuff. I take the addresses, and then I go to look for the shops. They are like everywhere over the city. But I am good with directions. I find the first two without a problem. But they don't give me a tree. I tell them to get the money from the temple, but they laugh.

I wish I knew how grown up Jedi paid for things. Do they keep some money when they come back from a mission? And then they use it to pay for stuff here? Maybe I should have asked Sian. It's too late, then, because I am in a transport halfway through the city. The last shop is on the other side. I can use transport no problem. They see my clothes and that's it. I will tell Yani. We can go anywhere.

I never get to the last shop. At one place, Master Tharen gets into the transport and he drags me away. He doesn't even ask what I am doing. I get a long lecture on running away. But I wasn't even running, I was just trying to get a tree. Master Tharen does not listen. He doesn't like trees, I think. We arrive back at the Temple in the dark. I get more lectures about how people worry when I go off like that and that I must say where I am going.

As if. If I told them where I was going, they would not have let me. Swear! So this is the only way. That is the wrong answer, and I am sent to bed and get more study duty. Maybe I can ask Sian to get a tree for me. If I ever get out here again.


	8. Chapter 8

Eight

Yani is still in the healer's ward. It's been over a week now and they still don't let him go. And I cannot see him at all. It's stompin unfair. And Sian didn't get a tree either. And I got study duty to the end of all time. I think.

I don't know what they do to Yani in the ward, but nothing can take that long, even if they turned him into tiny pieces and sewed them all back together. It would look cool with all those scars in the end, but I don't think they do that. Adults never seem to do anything cool.

So I wait and wait and nobody ever tells me anything. Instead they say to be patient, learn patience and such. As if. I think they would not be that patient if their best friend was locked up like that.

Yantup says, it's hard to wait and he understands. He says it's like plants in winter, when everything looks like dead and nothing grows and you can't wait for spring. He says it gets easier when you get older and like growing it just takes time. He gives me easy things to do. I think he gets it, but he can't help.

Sian says to have another cookie and play a prank on Yoda. I am not sure if he is serious. I think he is.

But I think about a tree for Yani still. There must be a way to get one. The temple has a whole stompin forest of them. Well, they do.

Okay, the idea was not that great, but it was only because Yani was not there to help me. He is always doing the thinking. So I just went up to the tiny garden last night and I took a shovel. Those trees have really tiny roots, they are easy to dig up. I take a lot of them. They are very light and I can easily take them anywhere. I put them into very hidden places and then I dig them in again. I don't want them to die, just take them.

I need one for Yani. Nobody understands that, but that's okay. I can do things on my own. I'm a Jedi, I am very independent for my age. I think. Anyway, it takes the whole night. I must put the trees all over the temple and then I must not have anybody see me. And I must be careful, or Yanutp will be angry with me. Maybe he'll be angry anyway. I am not sure about him.

So I put the trees everywhere and get back to bed just in time to get up again. There is a big fuss about the missing trees and they come to me. Of course, I took them, I tell them. I needed one for Yani and nobody helped at all. So I helped myself. They give me a lot of earnest faces and tell me how what I did was wrong and all that.

Pfft. As if I didn't know. But for a friend, I will break the rules. I am sure adults do that, too, but they don't tell you. They are all good and perfect to you, but I am sure they would have gotten a tree for their best friend, too. Only that maybe they would have it had easier because nobody drags them back home when they go shopping.

They found the missing trees in the end, but I knew they would. Even if they are so small, trees are difficult to hide. Except for one, I hid one very well, nobody will ever find it. And when I get out here and Yani gets out, too, I will give it to him. That will be worth _all_ study duty in the galaxy.


	9. Chapter 9

Nine

They finally let Yani out again. He is thin, the wind will blow him away, I think. He does not go out, I think he knows it, too. He is tired and he doesn't say much. I think you should be all well when you get out of the healer's ward. They did something wrong with Yani. He is not well.

We sit in the gardens and do homework. I tell him everything that happened when he was away, but he does not listen. It is, as if he was far away, I don't like it. So I tell about Yantup and the small trees and working in the gardens. That interests him more. Yani likes plants, but I don't tell him about the hidden tree yet. I want him to be back for real before telling. I'm not making sense, I think, but I can feel it.

He doesn't see when I go. I go to Sian, he is always helping. I need cookies, those always cheer you up. Not that the Masters care. So I ask Sian to get me some for Yani. He's not good, I say. The healers didn't help him.

Sian comes along, but he doesn't follow to Yani. Yani still sits and looks at something. There is nothing, a bush maybe, just something. I give him a cookie. He takes it, but that is it. Almost like he froze again, but he isn't. He's all there, only that there is nothing left to be there. Or something.

I wait very long and sometimes look to Sian. After a while he leaves, but Yani doesn't eat the cookie. We do homework, but he doesn't eat it. Not all day. There is something very wrong with him.

I wish I could go to the healers and ask to have my best friend back. But they are all adults, they would not understand. When the lights went out, I could see that Yani was still staring. As if he could see something in the darkness, but there is nothing. Still he doesn't close his eyes. I want to go over to him, but then he sighs.

"Okay." I don't think he is talking to me. "That's how it is."

I feel very bad. I don't know why.


	10. Chapter 10

Ten

I don't know why, but Yani is back to normal. Just like that. He woke up in the morning and it was as if he was not like a vegetable the day before. I am still worried. I think some Masters worry, too. They watch Yani. He knows. He knows I know, too. We look at each other and he makes a gesture we are not allowed to use. I laugh.

Of course, Master Tharen sees it. Tells us to solve the next problem, but it's just maths. We're good at maths, even though Yani missed almost a week. He's so smart. Swear! He is faster than I am. But it was always like that.

It's good to have Yani back for lightsaber practice. We pretend to be famous Jedi or Sith and replay their battles. If we also practice the moves, we have to learn in the lesson, we always get away with it. I am Revan and he's Malak. One minute we just spar, and then I am good again and try to kill him, and he tries to kill me. For once we don't argue about who's who. It feels strange.

"Don't you want to be Revan, for a while?" I ask Yani.

But he shakes his head. "It's okay. They always win anyway."

I repeat the series of hits we learn that day. I am not sure who 'they' are. The good ones, I think, they always win, but that is right, isn't it?

Later we played bounty hunters in the gardens and I told him about those tiny trees. And That I could not show them to him, because of what I had done, but that there was one, I had kept for him. He was really interested in the small trees and I promised to ask Yantup to show them to him. Then we went to look at the one I kept.

I had hidden it really well. Nobody would ever find it. Swear! I was more clever than everybody when I have to hide something. There is a small wood in one of the gardens. Small, because there are not may trees, but the trees are huge. We like to climb them, but it is forbidden. We do it anyway. The first bit is difficult, because there are no branches, but we are two and can use the Force.

We climb all the way up, you can see nothing from the ground, there is leaves all around us. A very secret place. Some of the branches are big enough to lie on and not fall off, I cannot put my arms around them. And on some of those branches, there are bucket flowers. Huge like buckets, but made of flower. Real! Sometimes there are even squigglies living in there. I wonder if they grow wings when they want to go to other places? They can't live in a bucket all their live, can they? That'd be so boring!

So I put the tree up here. I took a real bucket and put it into a flower. You can't see nothing! Not until you are right in front of it. The perfect hiding place. Stompin bright idea I had there. So we go to the tiny tree. It takes some time longer because we get distracting playing Wookiee-Attack, but in the end we get there. I sit and dangle my legs.

"For you." I point at the tree. "We could make tiny Wookiees to put in it."

Yani stares at the small tree. "It cannot stay here," he finally says. "It will die."

I nod. "We can save it, we just need a place to put it where nobody can find it."

Ynai looks at ma all strange, but he agrees. "We must get it out of the temple; off the planet. This is not a planet for - trees."

He's right. Coruscant is just one big city. No tree could be happy here. "We will find a way," I say.

We play some more Wookiee-attack and almost miss dinner. But Yani says I showed him all the stuff from being a gardener and suddenly everything is fine. I will never understand grown-ups.


	11. Chapter 11

Eleven

We wondered where to put the tree, and he said that small people get protected by big people, so small trees would need big trees. The biggest trees ever grow on Kashyk - Kasshyyk - Kashyyyyk ach bugger, Wookie-planet. They are so stompin big, you never see the ground when you are up there. I saw pictures with Yani. I want to see those trees for real. Nothing can happen to Tiny Tree there.

"We cannot go to Kash- Wookiee-planet," I say to Yani. I am right, too.

"We cannot go anywhere just like that," he says. "We must plan and get infos."

Yani is always thinking like that. I just go and then I get in trouble, but Yani is thinking and then nobody says a thing. So he plans. We have project weeks coming up. I like project weeks. A lot of classes are not done and instead we get to do projects about stuff that is really interesting.

But this time Yani says, "we want to see what political work is like. Visit embassies and talk to politicians."

I want to kill him. Politics is boring. Real! And ambassadors are guys in funny clothes that walk around like they are important. I see them in the temple sometimes.

"We can go to the Wookiee embassy," Yani explains later. "There we can find a way to get the tree away." Yani is so clever. Swear!

Master Tharen is happy with the plan, too. He knows nothing about the tree, but he likes us interested in politics. He gives us loads of advice, and keeps talking at us. I just want to get away. Yani and I need to plan. And we need a supervisor, because we want to go outside the temple and we cannot go alone.

I think Master Tharen wants to come with us, but we don't want him. I say, we better ask Sian. He's okay for being grown up. Yani says yes, and we visit Sian. He looks sad, but he says it's okay, just memories. I wonder how it is, being so old and having so much to remember. The head must feel like bursting or something.

Sian has cookies and he thinks the idea is good. He looks at us funny, I think he thinks there is something we don't tell him. There is, but I am not even sure what exactly it is. I don't know what Yani wants to do in the embassy.

But we get to go. First we must visit the Corellian people, because - I don't know. Maybe so nobody sees what we really want to do. We go to the embassy and talk to a lot of people and take notes. They talk about making requests and getting stuff for their people. And about getting stuff by giving it to others, but that is not making sense. They talk about the war and troops and how important it is to keep everybody happy.

I get that, but I don't know how moving troops can keep people happy. Maybe the troops like to wander? I like to wander, especially in the night, but we seldom do that. Maybe becoming a soldier would be fun, but by the time I am old enough to be a knight, this war will be long over. And even I know it is bad manners to hope for more war, just so I get to wander at night.

Then we get cookies and they show us the embassy. It's just like the temple, only smaller. Many rooms and people going places and looking important. The cookies are very crumbly and leave a trail on the ground. I cannot see the small cleaning droids. That's bad, they are fun to chase along the corridors.

When we get back, we're all tired. Sian says he has not been so bored in a long time and I nod. All that talking. Only Yani looks happy. I think, he really likes this. That's fine, he had enough trouble lately.

The next day we make a report. Yani has tons of notes, it is not difficult to write nice long blah with them. Teacher like it when you ramble in reports. So we tell about all the stuff and it's not even interesting. But I am sure Master Thaten will like it. Then Yani opens another file. There is a lot of stuff about ships coming and going from the embassy.

"Where did you get that?" I want to know.

"I asked a worker about going home and contact and sending parcels and such," Yani says. I wonder if he tried some mind trick, because he has schedules and all. "We can get the same information from the Wookiee embassy," he says.

Now that is clever. We can get the tree onto a ship. Maybe we can put a message at it and then the Wookiees will put it into a safe place on their planet.

"Stompin good plan," I tell Yani. We make some more stuff for the project, and then we play Wookiee attack. It's the best game ever if you don't get caught. But in those high trees, nobody ever gets us. Sometimes, they call up to us and say to come down, but we don't. We look at Tiny Tree in his bucket and he looks fine. The flower around does not look fine. I hope it lasts until we can get the tree away, there are squigglies in all other flower-buckets I have seen. I don't want to put the tree on the squigglies.


	12. Chapter 12

Twelve

We went to the Wookiee embassy. That place is just stompin, and Wookiees all around. They are huge. Swear! It was a lot more exciting then the other embassy. Everything is bigger, the stairs and the doors and chairs. We sat down in some chairs to wait, they were looking very small, because they were made for humans. Sian looked small in his hoverchair next to the wookiee-sized chairs.

We didn't keep sitting. And it was good we had Sian with us. I don't think Master Tharen would have let us climb on the big chairs. It was fun. I could hide behind the arm rest, and then I had a fire fight with Yani. He looked really happy, not troubled at all. Maybe we should go to the wookiee place more often.

We were about to have a race with the chairs as fighters, when Sian nudged us. A huge Wookiee was coming, his fur was very light, almost yellow, but it was a bit darker around the eyes and mouth.

[Welcome to our embassy] he said. He spoke real good basic, I got everything. Or maybe I am just good understanding. Maybe I can be a Jedi-translator when I grow up.

We get a tour of the embassy. It is much bigger, but I think that is because everything has to be bigger if you're a Wookie. I ask Yellow (of course he has another name, but I cannot say it, much less remember it. But I am sure Yani has it written somewhere for our project so that is fine.) So I ask him if the things we have are not too small for Wookies and if living here is not unhandy.

[Sometimes it is] he says [but often our hosts are aware of the difference in size and accommodate us accordingly]

He knows a lot of big words. It's no wonder he became politician. I imagine how a Chadra-Fan will look in a Wookiee chair. I tell that Yani in a whisper and we giggle. Sian gives us a sterns glance, but he is not really mad at us. I think he read our minds. He is almost smiling. We see the conference room and offices and then they let Yani play on one of the consoles. They don't know what he can do. He listens and nods and punches buttons while I look at the current schedules of people working here.

Maybe ambassador is not a good job. They are all grown up and still have a schedule like a youngling. And sometimes they work from morning to night. Not even with study duty did I ever have to do so much. There are meetings all day long. One time they meet with the chancellor. I didn't know he met people in person.

"Is it exciting to meet with Palpatine?" I want to know. He's one of the most important men in the galaxy.

[Is it exciting to meet with Master Yoda?] Yellow asks back.

I have to think. "In a way it is, but then it is not that exciting. He is always around somewhere and we know him," I then say.

Yellow nods and shows stompin huge teeth. [It is the same way with the Chancellor.]

I think I understand. I ask Yani if we should go and see the Chancellor, too. He must know everything about politics. Yani says we'll never get an appointment. He likes big words, I think he will make a good politician. I don't know if Jedi can be ambassador, but why not? It would be very useful on negotiations.

Sian says we can always ask, because the worst that can happen is that the answer is no. I think about that. I think, it is a very clever way to think about things. Yani says he will write a letter when we are home. He is better with words, especially the long ones, so I agree. The Chancellor will be much more impressed by something Yani wrote. Maybe we will get to talk to him then.

We are allowed to eat in the lunchroom of the embassy. Yani and I share a meal, they are huge as everything else. Real! Sian has a meal to himself, but it does not look as if he needs any help with it. He keeps talking to the lady serving. She cannot get back to the counter and I wonder if she is annoyed. But she brings chocolate cake for desserts so it can't be too bad. I didn't know Wookiees like chocolate cake.

Yellow says they actually don't like it much, but they know people visiting here do. I like Wookies. They think of everything.

At last we look at the private hangar of the embassy. There are not so many ships as in the Temple. We can go into one and see the cockpit. Everything is bigger here, too; made for Wookiees. I wonder how Yoda has to feel in the Temple. Most things are made for humans. I will one day be big enough to reach everything, but he will always be small. I am not sure the people in the temple give enough thought to such things. But I am scared to ask Yoda about it.

I can sit down in the pilot's chair, but even when I sit at the very front, I can't get to the controls. It's fun. We see a ship land and Yellow says it has food from home aboard. They get a ship every day. I ask him where the ships go when they are empty, because they don't stay. Otherwise the hangar would be clogged.

Yellow says they go back to bring more food. Now that is good news. We just would have to put the tree onto one of those transports. I ask Sian if we get ships with food from other paces, too. He said, we probably don't because if we did our food would be better. I don't know what he means. I like our food - mostly. It would be nice if we got burgers more often and cake. Is there a planet that makes only cake and sends it places? Maybe they could send us a ship to the temple every day.

At home Yani is happy, because he has all the data he wanted, about the ships and all. I think we can safe the tree now. Total! It will be so easy. I watch while Yani writes the letter and Master Tharen reads it and looks very happy. I think, maybe when he's older he might be a good master for Yani, with them both into politics and that.


	13. Chapter 13

Thirteen

Because we were doing so good and looked so interested, Master Tharen arranged for us to visit yet another embassy. It was humans again, but Tharen was all excited because the Chancellor is from the same planet and so it was really good. I didn't get it.

It was pretty much like the Corellian thing all over. Swear! We were showed around and there were nice ladies looking all the same in pretty dresses. I think they were called Handmadens, but we were not told what they made. Maybe that's a secret.

They showed up pictures of Naboo, that's the name of their planet, and it is very pretty. They don't have many houses there, even less then on Corellia. Everywhere is greenery and trees and such. Not as big trees as on Wookiee-planet, though. I wonder why most planets can't afford to build all over the ground like us, but that is _for-eign cust-oms_. I think that means it is like Twi'Lek never wearing much, or Wookiees needing no trousers.

There were Gungans, too. They live on Naboo as well and so they need top be represented in the Senate, too. We saw the Senator, and he has funny ears. All Gungans do, b ut you can't say that to a Senator, too so I didn't. He was funny, still and then he had to run off to a meeting. He did not look very diplomatic.

And Yani was strange, too. In the other embassies he had been all over everything. Total! But here, he was just following us and he looked around as if somebody was hiding behind a corner and jump at us and shout 'booh!'. He did not even look at the Handmade girls and they looked stompin good. He did not make any notes, too. I had to make them and that was hard work. No fun, but we would need them later.

I tried to cheer up Yani, but he was not really listening. He smiled and then his mind wandered again. He is strange. Or maybe he just has lost interest now that we have the information about Wookiee-home. Anyway, those Naboose, they have the stompin best ships ever. We went to the hangar and they are sleek like nothing. Swear!

We could sit down in one again and I was asking all kinds of questions. I like ships. I can't wait to grow up and fly one. Yani was sitting in the co-pilot's chair and staring like he could see hyperspace or something. But he did not look unhappy, so I guess that's okay.

We lost Sian somewhere, but in the end the nice Handmade girls brought him back. I think he did something stupid, they were all laughing at him. He did take it good. He was not even grumpy all the way back. I wondered if that is this serenity stuff the Masters keep talking about. I get mad if people laugh about me.

Yani got better, too. Back at the temple it was as if nothing happened. We sat in the tree, looking at Tiny in his flower bucket. It has become our place now, nobody ever looks for us here, it's better than down in the bushes somewhere.

"What was it in the embassy?" I want to know.

"Nothing," says Yani, but I know it was a big nothing. "I just felt as if somebody was watching me. I didn't like it."

"Maybe it was one of them Handmade girls?" I say.

"No they were to busy watching Sian," Yani says.

I nod. Poor Sian. He must have mad some really funny mistakes. "Doesn't matter much, does it?" I say. "We already have the Wookiee data."

Yani's mood lifts. Maybe he needs some Wookiee friends? He could go and take Tiny himself, maybe he can make friends on Wookiee-home. I would miss him, but if it makes him better. He says he's fine, but I know he's just not. I can see so through him, Total! Even when he came back from that long time in the ward, there is something with him.

"You worry too much," he says. He reads my thoughts but that is okay. I read his, too.


	14. Chapter 14

Fourteen

Yani was sick again. The healers say it was because of stress, but they cannot tell me what stress is. Seeing the Chancellor is stress, has to be, because that is what we were doing when it happened.

It was all Master Tharen's fault. He made us write that letter. I didn't think anything would happen, but the Chancellor answered and said of course he could always make a little time for interested Padawans. And then he wrote how important we all were and that we need to be encouraged in our wish to learn. He used a lot of very long and complicated words for that, but Yani told me what he meant.

So we prepared to meet the Chancellor, his name is Palpatine and we are to be more polite than ever. Maybe that is was is stress. But Yani is good at polite. Sian had no time, so Master Tharen came with us. That was bad, because he kept talking about politics the whole time.

We went to the Senate because Palpatine has an office there. The Senate is huge, and there are guards everywhere. They look great, all in blue and with stompin helmets and pikes. Tharen says I can look at them later, and we must not be late because the Chancellor is a busy man. Leading the Republic must be more difficult than the Jedi then. Yoda does that and he always has time for us.

In front of the office are clone troops. Stompin Force! They look real cool and one had red markings on his armour meaning he was a captain. I wanted to stay and look, but again we have no time. I think this should be planned better. You need more time if you want to see stuff in such places.

Anyway, the office of the Chancellor is huge. I bet the whole Wookiee embassy people can come for a visit there and there'd be enough space. Palpatine is old. Not old like Yoda, but old as people get old. He smiles and greets us and says what a pleasure it is to meet us. He leads us around the room and tells things about the stuff there, Yani keeps looking towards the windows. Those were stompin huge windows! And along a whole wall, too.

So the Chancellor leads us there and we look out. The skylanes are full and it looks very pretty. Palpatine says he like the windows because he can always see the people he is supposed to act for and that keeps him grounded. I look down. He must be joking. There is no ground miles away.

Palaptine gets a huge holo of the galaxy and explains the current situations too us. I think he is only doing the exciting stuff, but that's fine. There's loads of war going on with troops everywhere. He shows us where the Jedi are, Master Windu and Secura, and Yani is getting funny. I poke him but he barely reacts. That is not good.

Anyway, the Chancellor doesn't notice and talks on. He just started abut Master Obi-Wan and Skylwaker, stompin to get news like that. Everybody wants to know about those two, anyway, Palpatine hasn't even really started when Yani freezes. Or almost. His eyes are all foggy and he keeps opening and closing his mouth as if he wants to say something, but he only drools.

I tell the Chancellor sorry, Yani is like that sometimes, and I better get the healers. Palaptine is all worried, and I run off to get healers, but he calls after me, to use the comm.. I don't think sometimes, but I run back. Only now Yani is running at me and mows me down good. He's out of the door and I must after him and call thanks to the Chancellor and sorry. Then I bounce into the red clone trooper, but I want to get down and go after Yani. So I kick him some, but he doesn't notice. It's the armour. And Yani is already in the elevator and the other clones are after him, but they are too late.

I can still catch Yani if I take the stairs, I am fast and I could jump some levels using the Force. If that captain did let go of me, but he doesn't. Instead he gets me back into the Chancellors office. Palpatine is still all worried and says he called the temple and there should be somebody here soon. That is stupid because who knows where Yani is then. I say, I must go after him, but Palpatine says it's better to wait.

Only it isn't. They don't know Yani. Anything can happen to him like this. So I reach out to the clone, but I am weak, or so he things, so he doesn't do anything. I don't know exactly what I do, but I mess with the electronics in his helmet. For a second his grip loosens, but he does not drop me. So I mess some more and I kick him again.

Finally, he lets go of me, and I run off. But in the doors I run into master Tharen. I had forgotten about him, but grabs me and pulls me back again. The clone has taken off the helmet and is repairing it. And I say sorry, but he didn't let me down. He looks at me all strange and Master Tharen apologises a lot.

Palpatine nods and is all understanding how you have to go after your friends sometime, when he had just said it would be better to wait. I don't get it. Bur before I can ask, Master Tharen's comm. goes off and they have found Yani and bring him into the healers ward. Tharen makes me apologise again, and I offer to the captain to help repair the helmet. He shakes his head, but that is okay, because Master Tharen is already dragging me away.

He lectures me all the way to the Temple. Stompin stupid. And I can't see Yani and they say he's already good again and it was just stress. Whatever stress is. And I get study duty for behaving so badly in front of the Chancellor, and when I say that he understood, I get another hour. I think stress might really be something to do with him.

I just hope Yani is really back when I am through with this.


	15. Chapter 15

Fifteen

Well, at least we're both stuck this time. Yani sit opposite and we keep looking at each other. We are not allowed to talk, but that is not so bad. We try to talk in our heads. We're stompin Jedi after all. We can do that. It's not our fault when they forbid us to talk and we get good at mind-talking instead.

Yani thinks it's not so bad. But he doesn't get much study duty. I am the one who keeps getting caught. Yani thinks it's okay, and we did what we wanted anyway. I trust him there, really, I have no idea what we were doing. Swear!

It all started with Yani getting obsessed about Tiny Tree. He spent ages on the comps and such, and putting up plans and acted really, weird, even for being Yani. Maybe the thing at the chancellor's office scared him. I was scared. I told him so. He only nodded, I think he is scared too, but can't say so.

So we have to get some reason to leave the temple and we need it at a time when a Wookiee ship leaves. Then we can sneak Tiny Tree out and onto their ship. It's a simple plan. Yani says simple is good because not much can go wrong. But it went wrong already, so I am not sure.

Yani looks around in the system for ages and then says he must change something, but that people will notice. I say, we can still give up, but he says, we can do better. We need a division he says, so the masters will look in the wrong place when he changes things and nobody will notice.

I like the idea. Maybe we can get Master Skywalkers division. Yani says I'm stupid. He says it's diversion nit division, and that is something else. Maybe we can make the division the diversion, but he says no. He says I am the diversion. I'd rather be in Skywalker's division, but nobody is asking me. Real bother.

Anyway, I agree because Yani is good with computers and I am not. I don't even know what he's talking about most of the time. Bad luck, I need to diverse at a comp, too. This will so suck, and I saw study duty looking already. But Yani was all happiness so I couldn't say no. He is not much happy lately.

He puts me down at a comp in the library and gives me a sheet with stuff written on it. It's that sweet edible stuff, and he says if I did all on it, I can eat it. Now that's a good plan: getting sweets and doing away with proof. Yani is too clever. Real!

So I start doing stuff. It's easy when you can read from paper. When I did something, I rip off a bit and eat it. Suddenly things start to happen in the library. I want to look but I am not finished yet. The lights go on and off and some terminals do things all by themselves. I hurry and eat the last bit, but I forgot one step, I think. But I couldn't look because I had already eaten the paper. So I just kept hitting buttons.

It was funny, because when I hit some buttons things happened. I was about to get out how that was connected, when Master Nu got me. She was not happy, and I knew she would have dragged me away at my ear, if she had not been a Jedi and that had not been below her dignity.

She took over the comp and shut everything down. Then she called on Master Tharen who came to collect me and brought me right to study duty. He didn't even ask what I had been doing. I wondered. But then I saw Yani already sitting in the room and knew that Tharen knew. Yani shook his head and I just sat down.

We geat a stompin huge amount of work and we mustn't talk to each other. That is unfair, because I want to know what Yani did and if everything is fine. Only Yani doesn't look at me, not until Master Tharen is gone. I understand then, I can be so slow. Mind reading, it's even better than reading when somebody broadcasts.

We're half done now, but already missed dinner. This is so boring. But since Yani thinks at me that everything is fine, I think it is. Maybe we can raid the kitchen later. What's some more study duty on top of this?


	16. Chapter 16

Sixteen

I don't think I'll ever get out of study duty fort the rest of my life. I have never seen any of the Masters so angry. Swear! Yani has study duty, too, but they don't let us sit together. I try to think something at him, but I am not sure he can hear me. I think I can hear him sometimes. But I think; I'm making that up because he's all terrified.

They took all my free time and turned it into study duty. That is so mean. And they took Tiny Tree and put him back into the old garden. There was a long, long, long lecture that trees are not people and that out plan was stupid and dangerous and that we must never ever, ever do something like it again. Not that we could, because we're having study duty like forever now.

It all started well. Yani got the stuff he needed. And we had a time when we could slip out of the Temple and to the embassy. We even had a disguise for Tiny Tree, to get him out of the Temple without anybody noticing. Then Yani found a mistake in the plan. I think that is when things started to go wrong.

"Nobody will take the tree out of the ship," Yani said. "They don't know it's there, because if they did, they would put it out here already."

Now that was a bother. I couldn't think of a solution. If the Wookiees knew there was a tree, they wouldn't take it along, but if they took it along, they wouldn't know it was there.

"Can't we put it in a place where they will find it only in space?" I wondered.

Yani shook his head. "They seal the storage when they put everything in. So we can't get in there and put the tree behind some other boxes."

"We can put it into a box in the hangar," I said. "Then they will take it on board without knowing."

"Do you know how long until they take the box out again?" Yani asked. "It would be bad if the tree was dead then already."

Now this was really a problem. I had not thought about it. I didn't know what to do. I hoped Yani had an idea. He did.

"One of us must go along," he said.

It sounded sensible, only that the people at the Temple would notice. What should we tell them? They'd never understand. Yani read my mind.

"The other would have to explain, and keep them from finding out to soon. It's not as if much can happen. Wookiees are nice." He looked at me. "You don't have to. We can just put the tree back, you know."

The idea wasn't one I had thought about. Tiny needed a good place to stay, where he could be free and protected. I shook my head. "No, we will make it like that. We just have to decide –"

"We can let the Force decide," Yani said. He took two blades of grass. "You pick the long one, you go. You pick the short one, you stay."

I am not sure that is how you let the Force decide if you're a Jedi. But the Force makes us do everything we do, so it's okay. I think. I got the long one. Yani crumbled his and grumbled, but then he said it was okay. He was better with making excuses anyway.

I wanted to offer him that he go, but you don't disagree with the Force. "I am scared," I said.

"It's okay," he said. "When you get back, there will be trouble, you know? Study duty forever."

He was so right, but it was no because I really went anywhere that I am now sitting here. I wish I could talk to Yani. He feels so far away.


	17. Chapter 17

Seventeen

Yani picked the day and we took Tiny away through the main entrance. Yani said, nobody would ask if you acted as if it was something you were supposed to do. I was worried, but I had no better idea. We both had small packs and I would take everything when we reached the embassy. We had cookies and lemonade and some water.

Yani was right and we left the Temple without anybody stopping us. Swear! Yani has the best ideas. We took the public transport. It was very full, but we had space. I wonder why? We were not very big and we had Tiny between us, too. Some people gave us strange glances. Like they didn't like us. I wonder why? We didn't do anything to them.

Finally we could get off again. We took the main door again, but I didn't see the yellow Wookiee from last time. Again we got weird glances, but Yani said it was okay. He didn't hurry at all and didn't get lost, too. I didn't remember the way from last time. Maybe he had looked at plans or something.

Anyway, we reached the hangar and there were many Wookiees around. And other people, too, some humans, but many not. I have not seen so few humans in a crowd before. It was strange. I felt alone, though Yani was right beside me. He took my arm and we went behind some boxes. There he gave me the snacks from his pack and the water. My bag was very heavy suddenly. I was nervous.

"I don't want to go alone," I said. It was stupid, but I couldn't think of anything else than being all alone on the ship. It would have been better with Yani around.

He nodded. "I know. But it won't be long. Promise."

If you're a Jedi, you can't break a promise. I felt better, but not much. "And when I come back-?"

"I'll tell the Masters I dared you onto the sip and then it took off before I could get you out again."

It was a good lie. We could have done things like that. Sometimes we dared each other to do silly things. "Okay." I look down at Tiny and my feet. "Don't -" I couldn't finish.

"I won't," Yani said. "And we'll see each other again in a few days. It's not forever or something, silly."

"'Course it's no," I agreed. I tried to sound fine, but I was sure Yani knew better. He wass not fine, too. I couldfeel it. It was an awkward moment.

"Force bond," Yani sounded embarrassed, too. "I heard it's normal for friendships."

I think it's not. I have no bond with anybody else. I can feel Yani still, very far away, but I don't even feel Master Yan that good and he is in the same room with me. He watches me and sometimes I think he worries. Especially, when I don't work on my tasks for longer. I miss Yani.

So I hid and Yani went to make some fuss. He was good at it and everybody looked at him when he stumbled and crashed a stack of boxes and shouted. I took Tiny and ran for it. The ship was open and I ran into the storage. It was almost full and there was no place to hide. I still heard Yani, but I had to be fast. So I took one of the boxes from the top and put it more to the front. Then I hid behind it and put another box next to me.

The noise stopped and I think they brought Yani away. I crouched and hoped nobody would find me. For a long time nothing happened. Then they began to load again. I could hear the steps and they shoved the boxes around and I almost got crushed. But after a while they stopped. I held on to Tiny and waited for the engines to start. My hands were all wet. Nothing happened.

For a very long time nothing happened. I was really nervous. What if the ship didn't start at all? What if they had just loaded it and now it would stand for some days before it took off? I tried to feel if anybody was on board, but I am not good at seeing Wookiees yet. I found nobody, and there was no sound, too. I took a pack of cookies and began to eat. I poured some water from the bottle over Tiny. Then I tried to sleep. The engines would wake me when they started, I was pretty sure they would.

It didn't. Instead Master Tharen woke me. He was rough and I think angry. Jedi are not supposed to be angry, but I think he was. He took me and Tiny and stormed off. I saw Master Yoda talk with the yellow Wookiee. I didn't see Yani. That worried me. Master Tharen stared at me all the way to the temple. I didn't want to talk to him anyway.

At the Temple they put me into a room for study duty, but I didn't get anything to do. I looked for Yani in the Force, but he was very far away. I wondered if he was on a ship now instead of me. That would be bad, I had no excuse ready for him.

Master Yoda came first . He looked sad and curious. "Don that, why did you, Padawan?" he said.

I told him all about Tiny and the plan to help him to get to Kashyyyk and be among big trees that took care of him. You cannot lie to Master Yoda, he always knows, so I didn't. Then I asked what happened to Yani.

"Feel him, you can?" Yoda asked. "Strange that is, for feel him we do not."

I didn't get it. "But he is so far away," I said. "Did he go on a ship instead? Is he gone?" I didn't want Yani to be gone. He was afraid. He needed me.

"Gone he might be," Yoda answered.

But what kind answer was that? It answered nothing. "He is scared," I went on. "He needs me."

Yoda looked very sad. "Help you now, I cannot." He shook his head. "Brought upon yourself, you have this. Suffer the consequences, you must." He tapped his stick on the ground. "After that, help there will be."

I think he meant well, but it was so unfair. I wanted help now, because Yani needs it no. Swear! And they just locked me up here. Yantup came and was sad and explained how trees not native on Kashyyk didn't grow there but died. I didn't really listen, because I wanted to see Yani. But nobody said anything, not even Yantup. I was so mad at them. Total! I didn't care about being all Jedi-like.

Yanutp ruffled my hair and said he understood, but next time I was to read up on the place I want to put a plant. "If you take shoots to the wrong places, it can only end in tears," he said.

I didn't care about being shot, not if I could see Yani. I asked a quadrizillion times but they never say anything. I even asked to see Sian, because he would know how important it is to know about a friend. I guess, I'll just ask again. If only I bother them enough, they may give me answers to shut me up.


	18. Chapter 18

Eighteen

It's been over a week now and I am still locked up in study duty all the time. At least they told me about Yani. He is not so far away any more, but I can't reach him. They say he had another see-sure. That's a stupid word for him freezing up, but adults are like that sometimes. I think they want me to think that he froze and they found out about our plan like that. I don't. Yani would not have done that, freezing or no. True!

I think maybe it was the Wookiees. Maybe one saw us coming and only saw Yani leaving and wondered. And maybe they can smell really good and they found me like that. Maybe it was the cookies. It was not Yani. He'd never tell on me. Swear!

So he's with the healers now. He's not frozen any longer, but he won't wake up. That's why he's so far away. I think the cold and fear is only when he freezes. I want to see him. They say no, he needs to rest.

I would go and see him anyway, but I have study duty. Sian says that this is just the reason I have study duty, because it keeps me from trying to break into the Healer's Ward. He reminds me of the time we did that before. I laugh. But only shortly. I miss Yani.


	19. Chapter 19

Nineteen

We went to the zoo, but I knew something was wrong when I saw Sian. Swear! Usually N!an was the extra overseer when we visit places. She's cool, looks like a human felinx but she knows everything. She says she's over two hundred years old, but I don't believe that. She has fur all over, so she doesn't wear full robes all the time. It must be very hot under them with all that fur.

I was finally allowed to see Yani this morning. He looks all small and tired in the bed and he is not awake. A tube goes into his arm. The nurse says it's his food because he can't eat while he's sleeping, so he doesn't die. I tell her that he likes lim-ice a lot and that she should make sure there's lots of it in the bags she puts to the tube. She ruffled my hair and said, "Sure dear."

I sat down and didn't know what to do. It felt very strange. So I started to talk. I though, maybe he can hear me, I mean, I can feel him in the Force, right? So I told him about study duty and how they kept me locked away until now. Then I told him about the visit to the zoo and how it wouldn't be much fun without him. Last year we could feed the animals. It was fun. We fed our sandwiches to some woolly vinax. They went wild and ran through the cage like crazy and destroyed everything. I had already packed some bread. I really wished Yani would come, too.

Then the nurse came back and said I had to go. I took Yani's hand to say goodbye, and then he opened his eyes. He looked very tired.

"Sorry, Kanshi," he said.

The nurse got all hectic and started fumbling with the machines.

"It's okay," I said. He was really very sorry, I could feel that. Maybe it was because we didn't save Tiny. "Yantup says it's better like this and that Tiny would have died on Kashyyyk. But you should get well. It's boring without you."

He tried to nod and the nurse told him not to and to shut up, but he shook his head. "So sorry." He squeezed my hand.

I could feel he was really, really badly sad. Total! "You can come next time," I said. "We can go by ourselves when you're fine again. Real!"

Another healer came and made me go, but I kept thinking at Yani how everything would be fine soon. But he was still very sad. I don't think I made him feel any better. That's bad. I should be able to make him feel better. I am his friend!

Anyway, I didn't have long to think about it because we were off to the zoo. Master Tharen said we had a different teacher to come with us because N!an was busy. Something about the war and the council. I wished we would visit her instead. They never tell us anything about the war.

So we go to the zoo. Sian is joking around with the others, but he has an eye on me. I can feel it. I wonder why. I think the others feel it, too. They whisper, but I don't care. I don't know what it means either. He's nice and even tries to race Lari with his hoverchair. Of course, Master Tharen forbids it. He's so boring.

When we reach the vinax, I try to get my bread out, but Tharen has an eye on me too. I wonder why people seem to have their eyes on me all the time. But I have to give up and stare at the vinax sadly. They stare right back as if they knew what they were missing.

"Here," says Sian, "that helps against the sadness."

I don't think anything can help. Yani is not here and the vinax sit around and are boring. Still, I take it. I like Sian. Real! And when I look, it is bread. Sian winks at me and I feel better already. I break the bread into pieces and throw them into the cage. The vinax throw themselves at it, they fight for it. It's almost as much fun as real war stories from N!an. She's stoming good at stories. Then the vinax go crazy and start breaking things in the cage. Some guards come and San pulls me away.

"Oh no!" He shouts. "What is this? I hope it is not contagious. Come away, young one, before you catch it."

I have to giggle, but I can keep from laughing until we're out of sight. Sian is so funny. "Why do they go all crazy?" I want to know when I stop laughing.

Sian tries to catch up with the others, but I don't want to. I like it better alone with Sian than with Tharen.

"You can say if you don't know," I say. "That's okay."

He stops and looks very serious and shakes his head strangely. "It's the grain," he says. "Vinax only get it in fall on their home planet. that is the time the predators who eat them have cubs an hunt more. But if a vinax acts so crazy, it has good chances the predators won't kill and eat it."

"They are sacred to be eaten?"

Sian nods.

I feel bad suddenly. I didn't want them to be scared. Being afraid to die must be very bad. "I didn't know."

"You know now," he says and moves on. "For next time."

He's right. I don't think I'll ever feed the vinax bread again. We had some biology and there the animals always stopped moving when they were scared to die. Vinax are very strange. Maybe I can have one as a pet. They look very cuddly. I almost run into the hoverchair. Master Tharen is not far away with the group, but still Sian stopped. He looks very serious again.

"I just want you to know that you can always come to me," he says.

"I know!" I grin. Sian is great and he doesn't have to tell me that.

"Always," he repeats.

I nod an put my hand on his arm. I am to old to hug people. But I am happy. I am sure Yani and I will have a lot of fun with Sian. Can't wait to tell him!


	20. Chapter 20

Twenty

They took Yani.


	21. Chapter 21

Twenty-one

It's been almost three days now, but I still don't talk to them. It's total not fair even Sian knew. He even said so, but he's the only one who did. So I don't talk to him, but he can read my thoughts. Everybody else, I am just thinking confusing stuff. I am not talking to them again ever. Swear!

So we returned after the zoo and I went to see Yani. He would be so interested in the stuff about the vinax. But when I came to the Ward the healers said he had gone. I thought that was great because he'd be back then. So I went to look for him, but he was nowhere. I looked everywhere. Swear! I couldn't find him. He was not there when it was bedtime either. I worried.

So I got up again and went to Master Tharen. "Where's Yani?" I want to know. "The healers said he's gone back already."

Tharen looks at me. He is not happy, it's the first time I can feel something from him in the Force. I am getting ever stronger. I had to tell Yani!  
But Master Tharen doesn't want to talk about it. "Yoda will tell you tomorrow," he says. "It's better like this."

What is better? I want to ask, but he just send me to bed. As if I could sleep like that. I didn't sleep, not much any way. Swear. And first thing next morning I go to Yoda. Before breakfast and all. Did you ever try to find Yoda? I mean when you're not expected to. Doesn't work. I swear that's because he's so small. He can hide anywhere.

Tharen finds me and makes me eat breakfast. Then I have to go to the lessons, but I don't even pay attention. I can still feel Yani. He's not scared any more, but still very far away and I know he is sad. What have they done to him?

Finally, I get to talk to Yoda. He's all serious. "Find happiness here, your friend could not," he says. "So left, he has."

Left? Yani? Yoda must be out of his mind. Yani'd never do that. He wouldn't leave me alone and certainly not without telling me. "He wouldn't," I say. "Yani would never just go."

"Make it easier for you, he wanted," Yoda says. "To Agri Corps, he went."

As if I'd ever believe _that_. Yani was too good for that. He's better at most things than me. And _I_ say that. No chance in the galaxy he'd rot in Agri Corps. "He wouldn't just go," I say again. "He would tell me."

"Make the decision lightly, he did not."

I didn't listen to the explanations. Yani is my best friend, he wouldn't just go. He just wouldn't go. We're together and that's forever. He would have told, me. He would have left a message at least. He wouldn't have gone. No. No way. Total!

"I want to talk to him," I say. If I can talk to Yani, he will explain everything. He'll tell me how this is just a mistake. Maybe he's playing a big prank on me. But it's a bad prank, I don't think he'd do something like this.

"Attachment, to the Dark Side it leads. When overcome it you have, talk to your friend again, you will."

I didn't know what to say. You can't say anything if they get you with the Code. But it was stompin unfair. So I don't say anything. I just wait until I can go. There has to be a way I can talk to Yani.

"Not made to be a Jedi, Yani was," Yoda says in the end. "His uncontrollable fits, a danger they were, and a danger him made."

Pfft. No way. Yani would never hurt anybody. And he didn't even move, he froze. He can learn to control it. I know it. "I want to talk to him. Only him."

So I am still not talking to them. It's not easy.  
I wonder how long it will take until I can call Yani.


	22. Chapter 22

Tewnty-Two

Now I got study duty again. I am still not talking to anybody, except Sian that is. I talk to Sian, he doesn't try to lie to me. But he can't make Yoda change his mind either. So I am still not talking to anybody else. Serves them stompin right. I can't call Yani. It doesn't make sense. We're friends, Yani and me, how can it be right to part us? Sian tries to explain. He says it's because of attachment. If you are too attached to somebody it will end bad. He looks very sad when he says that. Maybe he was attached one day, too.

"A bit of attachment is fine," he says. "But if you depend one one thing too much, you will break when you lose it."

I am not sure what exactly that means. Maybe that being friends is fine, but being best friends is not? "Poodoo," I say.

"If you had to chose between saving Yani and the rest of your group," Sian asks, "what would you do?"

I get his idea, but I would save Yani. Total!

Sian smiles sadly, I think he knows what I think, so I say nothing.

"But we are Jedi," he says. He leaves me some cookies. Sian is alright. I eat the cookies and write to Yani. Nobody can forbid me to write letters.

I should be doing school work. I don't answer any questions, so I have to answer everything we do in the lessons later, writing it down. It's boring because I know all the answers. Swear! But it makes that I don't have to be with the others. They don't understand. They know Yani was sent to AgriCorps and they know it's much too early, but they just shrug. The grown-ups did it, so it's okay, must be. If they sent him away, that's right, grown-ups never make mistakes.

Maybe they're happy he's gone. Yani was good, he could have had any master. Because of the war, there are not many Masters at all. They are all fighting. Some are dead, I think. So if Yani is not here, he cannot take on of the Masters. But many knights are now masters, too. Skywalker is a Master, he has his own padawan. She's lucky, maybe she'll be very good and Skywalker will need a new padawan in a few years. Maybe his padawan gets killed, too. It is war after all.

So, I do school work. Dead boring. I write to Yani and tell him about everything. I just have to find a way to send the letter. I ever sent a letter before. Guess, I'll ask Sian about that. He knows everything.


	23. Chapter 23

Twenty-Three

So I wrote a letter to Yani and went to Sian. He said I have to get Yani's comm code, so the system knows where to send the letter. I have no idea if Yani has his own comm now, I think not. I don't have one. I think I never got a message from outside the temple. Strange. I did not. Ever.

I wonder why nobody sends me messages. I must have a family there. And parents love their children, that is what they tell us anyway. But my parents never sent a message at all or anything. Maybe they didn't want me? Maybe they had a gazillion of kids already and were happy to be able to get rid off me. So I am better off n ow, because here they want me. I think.

I want to ask Sian if he ever got a message from his parents, but I don't dare. What if he didn't, too? Can it be that his parents didn't want him, too? I think of Master Tharen and Master Yoda and everybody. Did all their parents not want them? How can so many parents not want their children? Maybe it's because we're Jedi. They give us away because we're not like them. Master Tharen said that people are afraid of things they don't know. Jedi are things they don't know. We don't meet many normos. I don't know any normos at all. But I am not afraid of them, because I am a Jedi and Jedi are never afraid. Real!

I wonder how Yani feels now. His parents didn't want him because he was a Jedi and now the Jedi don't want him because he is not. Or not really. What do you do then? I mean, where do you go when nobody wants you? I have to write to Yani now. Total! He mustn't feel alone. We're still best friends!

"Can we find out his comm?" I ask Sian.

"We can search the public directories," he says. "The library has terminals for that."

So we go to the library. Master Nu is looking scary, but I am with Sian. He could just roll over her with his hoverchair. I ask him if he ever did that. He says he mustn't because he's a Jedi, but that he used to bump the shins of his friend. He smiles and looks all sad.

"Did he get sent to AgriCorps, too?" I wonder what happened to his friend.

Sian laughs. We're in the library and Master Nu looks very angry, but Sian doesn't see her at all. He laughs really hard. "It's just the idea of Qui-Gon in AgriCorps," he says then. "I am sure it would have been hilarious."

I don't know any Qui-Gon. Maybe I should ask about him later. First I must make sure Yani knows he is not alone. So we go to a terminal. I sit down, Sian doesn't need a chair. It's stompin convenient. He tells me how to go into the directories and I can find the search feature on my own. I type in 'Yani'. It takes ages to work out. He's probably not easy to find. Finally, I get a result.

There are gazillions of Yanis.

I can't believe how many there are. There must be a Yani on each planet of the galaxy, if not two. "How can I fins him in there?" I want to know.

Sian opens a refined search and tells me to write in everything I know about Yani. He;s not on Coruscant, and I know his last name. Still I get ten pages of results. So I enter his age. Now I have no result at all. Stompin unfair!

"Looks like he doesn't have his own comm," Sian says.

I'm disappointed. I type in 'AgriCorps' instead. Of course I get a gazillion results again.

"You can always ask Master Yoda for the comm code," Sian says.

No chance at all, though. Yoda said I can't talk to Yani, I don't think he changed his mind already. And I am not talking to him anyway. Maybe I should. Maybe Sian wants me to talk to the others again. But I can't. I can't go back on my word. Jedi don't do that.


	24. Chapter 24

Twenty-Four

I talked to Yoda. After a week I still didn't find a way to send the letter. I didn't know what else to do. I had to break my silence, but Yani will understand. Talking to him is more important than not talking to the others.

So I copied the letter and gave it to Yoda. He's the highest Jedi, he can make anything happen. And I explained all about Yani to him, how he must not think he's all alone and I forgot him because we're still friends.

"Send the, I will," Yoda said.

But I don't think he did. I told Yani to call me or send a note or anything. But he didn't. And he would. Total. We're best friends.

It's not fair, but Yoda did not say when he'd send the letter. Maybe he wants to wait until we're not best friends any more. So I must still find another way to talk to Yani, because that will never happen. Swear!

Maybe it's this stompin war. It has come to Coruscant now. I have seen troops in the streets and the Masters and Knights stopped trying to keep it away from us. All Padawans are now commanding troops. It's unfair I'm still too young. I would just take the clones and go after Yani. They're cool, we'd find him in no time at all and he'd help us win each battle.

I think about leading troops a lot. It is not something we get taught. I wonder why? It's not as if they mind, they were made to follow our orders. It can't be that difficult, I mean we're always doing what the Masters tell us, too. How different can it be to give orders? Maybe there will be a shortage of commanders and we get a chance to fight, too.

I keep my ears open for signs of that. And for a way to send letters. There are also non-Jedi in the temple. Maybe I'll ask one of them.


	25. Chapter 25

Twenty-Five

Things are bad in the war, no joking. There are clones all over Coruscant, I can see them from my window. Swear! Yani would have thought this so cool. They all look the same, stompin potential of pranks there. But Yani is not here. I still miss him bad. It's not fair.

I wrote him more letters, but I got no answer. I don't think he gets them. Yani would answer me. We're best friends, we would write me back. Total! So I think it's the Masters. Don't know why. But Yani taught me a trick or two. I am not stupid! So I found his name, found the place they sent him to and copied the address. All secret. Total.

And I will send him a letter. Not with the Masters. I know where the post is leaving now. I will put it into the mail of business, like bills or something. They cannot find it there and Yani will know I didn't forget him. He must feel bad if he thinks that. We're best friends!

There's clones in the temple now. Don't know why, but people a screaming everywhere and it feels real bad. In the Force. I never felt the Force so bad, it hurts. Other younglings come running, they cry. They say a man is there, with a saber, killing everybody. Well, he won't get me. Swear! I will find a place to make a fight, I am good with the saber, best of my class. Nobody kills my friends.

I will just seal this up and drop it in the out box. Together with the others, we can stop anybody. Real! We're Jedi!

Just never think I forget about you, Yani, hear? I will find you. Swear!


	26. Chapter 26

Twenty-Six

This would be a link to the story that inspired this diary, but off-site links don't work.

Well, the forums of "The Force Net" have it.

.net/the_saga/b10476/29544429/p1/?8

Sorry for the inconvenience.


	27. Chapter 27

Epilogue

_7 years ABY_

By the Force! I knew the postal system of this New Republic was bad but this is beyond believable. The letter has taken 30? years to reach me. Thirty years in which is was stuck in the system, hidden under stacks of other mail or stuck between the wheels of shipping. This seems so long gone by now. Everything that happened is so far away, even the Empire, even Order 66, everything.

I have adapted, made my way and found happiness. I have a wife, I have children, and maybe, depending on how he does it, I might let them learn from Skywalker one day. I know at least one of them is sensitive to the Force. I had almost forgotten, and now this. I don't know what to say.

After all these years, I didn't think your death would be so hard on me. We were best friends thirty years ago. I never knew you tried to contact me, I never knew you was so desperate. Right now, I miss you, Kanshi. Loads. Swear!

Your entries brought back to me a time that was good, even with the blackness towering over me. You say I was distracted, unreliable, but I was standing on the threshold of blackness in those days, and it was about to swallow me. When I seemed to be daydreaming, I was dreading the day, fearing it had already come, that I must die in cold darkness, suffocated by the approaching shadow.

The Masters might have thought me crazy, seeing ghosts, since they obviously did not see the looming blackness. I should like to blame them for your death. You certainly did not deserve it. You was a good boy, and yes, it was me that often got you into trouble. Wish they had sent you off with me. Wish they had sent away all children.

But only I was shipped off and by the time I had managed to run away it was too late. I never made it back to Coruscant in the confusion of the war. The only good thing that had, was that I was considered dead by those wiping out all Force-sensitives I was not there when they wiped out the detachment of the AgriCorps I should have been in.

Back then I had been planning to come back and save you, too. You didn't realise it, did you? That it was all about saving you, really, because you didn't know what was coming. I did, and I saw everybody I knew dead. Maybe, if I hadn't worked so hard on saving you, I had been there on that fateful day. Maybe I could have made a difference. Maybe I would just have died at your side.

By now, almost everybody has forgotten the Jedi children. They were lost children from the day they crossed the temple doors. They belonged to the Jedi, and to them alone. The outside world, did not know about us. And when Vader killed all the children in the temple, the Jedi who could have mourned them were dead with them already.

They are forgotten children.

But I will not forget you, Kanshi. We were best friends. We will always be friends.

I don't have to wish the Force be with you, because now you are a part of it. And, though it might be blasphemy, I know it is a better place because of you.


End file.
